Animal Husbandry Workshop

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Reading this Week:

  • Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad (I think it would be a lot less interesting for anyone without leadership experience at sea)

This past week I attended the Animal Husbandry Workshop. I played this workshop a little differently, and instead of inviting someone from my village as a counterpart, I invited a guy I knew from town. He helps out several cooperatives in the area, and I thought of him especially because one of the cooperatives is interested in improved goat production. In my own village, I am hoping to invite him down to do some lessons which are more effective due to his finer understanding of local farming systems, obviously far better local language skills, and the automatic respect Zambian farmers have for other Zambian farmers. He actually showed up, unlike some other counterparts I have had, so there is that as well.

The biggest thing I think in any of these workshops isn’t so much the actual information we deliver via lecture, but the opportunity for the counterparts to see different examples of farming systems away from their own community. You can talk a lot about how to set up a farming system but it is way better just to show it to someone. We spent most of the week at Misamfu Agricultural Research Station, a facility operated by the Zambian government down near Kasama. They keep a variety of animals there, and also have a host of improved agricultural practices.

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Counterparts crowded around a goat house.

On the animal side at Misamfu we mostly learned about goats and chickens. They had a rather large chicken production facility, and they also had a large goat setup. Their stuff is all very nice and represents the sort of ideal of animal raising, but it is all very achievable in a village setting. That is especially true if a farmer starts small and works their way up.

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A (currently dry) dip tank used to get rid of pests from goats.

Besides the animals at Misamfu, we talked about conservation farming practices. I was disappointed to learn most of the conservation farming practices they use are more ideal for flat land, which doesn’t describe any of the land near me in Mbala. The whole area up there is a series of valleys are you descend toward Lake Tanganyika, itself a Great Rift Valley, uh, valley that is just filled with water. Still, the techniques they teach about intercropping and the concepts of improving the soil via green manure and compost are still very applicable.

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A conservation farming test plot. Here they were growing groundnuts and pigeon pea together using conservation farming techniques.

Besides Misamfu, we also visited a lodge in Kasama. The draw there was officially the fact that they keep bees, but they also have several extremely cute dogs that are hungry for attention.

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The other exciting place we went was to Mr. Siame’s farm. “Farm” is a bit of a misnomer; he has a small plot of land, but he uses some very intensive farming techniques, along with integration, to produce a whole lot in just a little space. He keeps a variety of animals, including ducks, turkeys, guinea fowl, chickens, goats, pigs, and rabbits. They are all right next to his house on one side.

Animals

Even more exciting for me, which I kept pointing out to people, is the garden he keeps on the other side of his house. The garden is in close proximity to the animals, which means it is easy for him to use animal manure as fertilizer. And, in turn, it is easy for him to use the products of the garden to help feed his animals. The garden is beautifully set up, with a live fence/hedge, followed by the actual garden area, and then lined entirely with various types of fruit trees. That is a whole wide range of food products right in his own back yard, providing different types of food at different times throughout the year. It’s pretty awesome. And although he is retired now, he was doing much the same thing back when he was a full time teacher! He was so passionate about his work and the things he did that I really hope it inspires a lot of the counterparts to at least start toward something similar.

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Mr. Siame with his awesome garden in the background.

I am really glad I got to go to the Animal Husbandry Workshop this year. I got to see a lot of examples of different ways to implement and combine agricultural systems and the counterparts had great discussions on raising animals, integration, and also HIV. I can’t wait to convince some people to raise more animals, better.

Being a PST Trainer

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Reading this week:

  • Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany
  • The Door into Summer by Robert A. Heinlein

This past week I got to travel back down to Chongwe to help train the new intake of RAP Volunteers. Every week during PST they bring down one or two currently serving volunteers in order to help out with training and to give the new PCTs some perspective on how their service will go. I was excited to go down because I always like to have a hand in training the new guys in any job I have, and I was excited to share some of the stuff I learned.

This week was pond staking week. They had briefly learned how to stake a pond the previous week, but this week was all about the hands-on. On Monday, when I showed up to training, the first thing we did was stake ponds. They split into small groups of all PCTs and staked some ponds while I wandered around and offered some pointers. I have staked a pond or two in my day at this point so I had some tips to share. Plus it is always funny to pass on the random stuff our trainers focused on, and in this case I taught more than one person the clove hitch.

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On Wednesday they had another practice day at staking, but they switched up locations in order to give them some practice on a new spot. They did fine. This all was in preparation for their big practicum which occurred on Saturday. For this, each PCT was supposed to bring a member of their host family, and then the host family would help them stake the pond. This served to give every PCT a helper (it’s hard to stake a pond by yourself and you ideally have three people) as they staked ponds without the help of other PCTs. More importantly, it also gave the PCTs practice explaining pond staking to someone who had probably never staked a pond before, and also gave their host families a chance to learn about what the PCTs do out there in the field. They have only recently started bringing host families to events like this, and it is a lot of fun to show them the work they are helping to support when the PCTs become full-fledged PCVs.

Saturday went mostly fine. All the ponds were good; they were scored out of 20 but 2 bonus points were available, and of everyone I scored they all got 22/20, except for one PCT who got 21/20 because she had forgotten how to do the evacuation point and just guessed. She guessed mostly correctly. Right at the end of the pond staking it started to rain and we all got soaked, but we got it done.

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PCTs during a non-pond-staking training exercise.

During the rest of the training I offered my own perspectives and experiences about what I had seen over the past year. The other major thing I offered during training was my site presentation. Every PCV that comes down to help with training gives a presentation on the work they have done and their site. The PCTs enjoy seeing people’s sites and it gives a lot of ideas about the things they could do and ways to improve their work and their site. My big message, however, was to convey accurate expectations of success. Like all sorts of jobs where you are there to help people out, your productivity in terms of things like ponds staked and fish stocked only partially depends on you; you need to have people willing and eager to do the work. If a lot of people want to build fish ponds you will help build a lot of fish ponds, but if no one wants to build fish ponds despite you getting out there and telling people the Good News of the Gospel of Aquaculture, then you aren’t going to build any fish ponds and that is not your fault!

They understandably tend to send PCVs down to training who have done a lot of aquaculture work, so that gives PCTs the impression that everyone works super hard and does all sorts of things while at site. That’s not always accurate. The first two generations of volunteers at my site couldn’t get anyone to build a fish pond, and they’re digging them now but they were also reminded that I am the last volunteer they are going to get. Success in Peace Corps service can be defined in a lot of ways, but you can’t focus on just easy to measure metrics like square meters of fish ponds started during your service. Just being in the village helps to accomplish goals 2 and 3, learning about your host nation and teaching your host nation about America. So that was my big message and I hoped I conveyed it. That was the biggest lesson I learned during community entry and I just hope these guys don’t have to wait that long to figure it out.

Malaria Bike Tour

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Group photo after teaching about malaria.

Reading this week:

  • The Autobiography of Malcom X as told to Alex Haley
  • Crossed Wires: Vol 1 by Iris Jay

This past week I participated in the Mbala Malaria Bike Tour. Bike tours are a pretty popular Peace Corps Zambia activity and the concept is pretty simple: a bunch of volunteers get together and bike to each other’s site, hosting programs at local schools or clinics. The advantages are that doing a program in a big group of volunteers is a lot more fun, spreads out the work, and creates excitement when a whole bunch of volunteers roll into town to teach about malaria. It was all organized by our fearless leader, Maggie.

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For our bike tour, we visited four volunteer’s sites, all centered around Mbala itself. At each site we visited the local school for the program. Most of our activities were based off the PC Skillz [sic] Malaria manual. These programs use soccer-based games to teach about malaria. Our target audience was pupils in grades 5-9 generally.

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This is “Bed Net Ball,” run by the other volunteers. The sheet is a mosquito net, and first they use the sheet to toss a soccer ball (the mosquito) up in the air. The pupils have to get under the “mosquito net” before the “mosquito” comes back down.

The general program was to bike to the next volunteer’s site in the morning, eat lunch, and then commence the program at around 1400. For me, I got to visit a side of Mbala district I haven’t been to and got to see more of the most beautiful district in Zambia. Plus, it’s always pretty fun to visit other volunteer’s sites, check out their houses, and play with their dogs.

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Most of the schools put a lot of prepwork in for our visit. Before our program began, we would be treated to a skit about malaria, or in one case a personalized welcome song from the school choir, which was impressive. They were universally educational and pretty funny as well.

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Personalized welcome song from the school choir.

For the activities, we worked in pairs to run stations. On each day we had a total of three stations, and the pupils rotated around learning about malaria. As we went along, my station wound up evolving. The first day we played a true/false game about various malaria myths. That wasn’t really interactive enough, so the next day we ditched that to play a risk factors game. In the risk factors game, the pupils dribble a soccer ball around cones (in our case, rocks) that represent risks for getting malaria: not sleeping under a mosquito net, not finishing your medication if you get malaria, not removing stagnant water, and not cutting your grass. On the first round, if they hit a rock with the ball, they have to do jumping jacks. On the second round, if they hit a rock with the ball, the whole team has to do jumping jacks. The students are more careful not to hit the rocks on the second round, and the lesson is that not taking malaria precautions increases risk for the entire community, not just themselves. When people think about the risk to the entire community, they are more careful.

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Busting some malaria myths via true/false.
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Risk factors game.

On the third and fourth days, I switched stations and helped teach “Health Ball.” In this game, the students try to pass to each other either a soccer ball or a much smaller rubber ball without the ball touching the ground. The soccer ball is easier, and that represents going to the clinic to get medicine to treat malaria. The small rubber ball represents going to a traditional healer or just staying home and hoping to get better, like it was just a cold. The message is to always go to the clinic!

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An extra game, “Mosquitoes & People” (aka Sharks & Minnows); the arch is the mosquito net that the pupils have to get under before the mosquito gets them.

All in all the bike tour was a lot of fun and we managed to reach over 400 students and teach them about malaria. Some of the stuff was things they had heard before, but repeating the message never hurts and we did do some mythbusting of common malaria myths. The real goal is to get the pupils to go home and tell their parents and family about what they learned to help reach the whole community. Hopefully we get to do more bike tours in the future and teach about even more topics.

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The Stevenson Road

Crudely Cropped Map

A crudely cropped (sorry Lake Rukwa) map of the Nyasa-Tanganyika Plateau and the Stevenson Road (in black); better version available here.

The Stevenson Road is a neat little piece of history that is pretty intimate with the overall history of Mbala. The Stevenson Road was a road that ran from the north end of Lake Malawi (then Lake Nyasa) to the southern end of Lake Tanganyika. It went through Mbala (then Abercorn), helping to make Mbala the major center in the north of British southern Africa.

The intrigue behind the construction of the Stevenson Road is detailed in the paper “Commerce, Christianity, and the Creation of the Stevenson Road,” and the history of the road is intimately tied with the London Missionary Society and of course my favorite ship from the area, the SS Good News. The road was the brainchild of James Stevenson and James Stewart. Stevenson was a Glasgow manufacturer and a donor for church activities in Africa. Stewart was a civil engineer working in Africa at the time. At the time, the main route to get to Lake Tanganyika was to travel overland from Dar Es Salaam on the coast to Ujiji, a town towards the north end of the lake. This route was controlled by the Arab traders (in this area, really Muslims of African descent). One of the major tasks of the London Missionary Society was to combat the slave trade controlled by these traders, though this was also the major route for ivory in this area. The major impetus for Stevenson and Stewart, however, was to create a route free from Arab control with which they could steal away the ivory trade.

Stewart and Stevenson approached the London Missionary Society in order to secure early customers for their road until they could take over the ivory trade from the Arab traders to the north. Stevenson offered the Society a large donation in exchange for help building the road and an exclusive contract to carry Society goods to their missions in the Lake Tanganyika area. The London Missionary Society was reluctant to agree to give up the Dar-Ujiji route because they had a successful mission along that route. However, another potential donor, Robert Arthington, had offered a donation contingent on the Society launching a steamship on Lake Tanganyika. The Society was a bit fed up with all these donations that came with conditions, they saw a solution to both their problems by agreeing to launch a steamship, and telling Stevenson that they would transport the ship via the new Nyasa-Tanganyika road. This ship was, of course, the SS Good News. With an early cargo guaranteed over the road, Stewart and Stevenson began construction.

The Stevenson road route, besides drawing business away from the Arab traders, had some other advantages. From the mouth of the Shire river on the Indian Ocean to the top of Lake Tanganyika, it was possible to traverse 1400 miles into Africa with only 275 miles of it overland via the Stevenson Road. This route was plied by the Livingstonia Trading Company of Central Africa (who’s first chairman was James Stevenson), which changed its name to the African Lakes Company when construction of the road commenced.

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The Dove, a ship of the African Lakes Company that plied Lake Nyasa and the Shire River; picture from Rhodesiana Vol 33.

The route, as far as overland central Africa travel went in those days, was pretty okay. As described in “The Nyasa-Tanganyika Plateau,” the plateau is covered with a thin scrub jungle, with grass 4 or 5 feet high growing between trees 12 to 15 feet high. It is not sufficiently thick to prevent walking in any direction” (this is still pretty true). The plateau was usually billed as having less disease than more low-lying areas, and the reviews on this are mixed, with that same article noting more sickness than usual when the author went through (1899), but also noted that several Europeans had lived there for many years without suffering too much for it. The big advantage of the plateau was the lack of tsetse fly. On the Dar-Ujiji route, the presence of tsetse fly prevented the use of draft animals, therefore requiring the use of porters.

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Stevenson Road near Saisi, from “The Nyasa-Tanganyika Plateau.”

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Modern-day look at one of the better preserved stretches of the road near Mbala.

The history of the Stevenson Road seems pretty short. The Good News was the first major cargo over the road, transported in 1884. Ten years later, in 1894 it was still (as detailed in “Commerce”) in large chunks hypothetical, but had helped determine the northern border of Rhodesia, which paralleled the road to the north. Around that same time the British South Africa company was laying a telegraph line across the entire length of the African continent, following the Stevenson Road for part of its route (Rhodesiana Vol 33). There’s no solid timeline for its disappearance, though it seems it fell out of use when the British South Africa company managed to connect its holdings to the south to the holdings in this area.

Not a whole lot of the road still remains today. The general route is still in use from Lake Malawi to Lake Tanganyika, so portions of modern-day roads probably go over or parallel portions of the original road. According to the director of the Moto Moto Museum in Mbala, the best-preserved stretch of the road near Mbala is a portion that leads to the Mutabilike Cemetary just north of the town (this stretch pictured above). Mpulungu has taken over from Kituta Bay (the bays are next to each other) as the major port on the south end of Lake Tanganika. The upswing of that is although there is a modern, paved road leading into Mpulungu, the road into Kituta Bay is still, I suspect, the same dirt road that was the end of the Stevenson Road back in 1884. Since Kituta Bay is the modern-day resting place of the Good News, I think it all ties together quite nicely.

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End of the Stevenson Road at Kituta Bay, Lake Tanganyika.

 

Cats

Reading this week:

  • Art Sex Music by Cosey Fanni Tutti

Just to be completionist, this is a post about cats. One cat specifically. His name is Munono:

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Munono is another semi-inheritance from the previous volunteer. Munono officially belongs to my host family now, but he likes to hang out. He usually comes over in the morning or in the evening and spends some time curled up in my lap. Like most Zambian animals it seems he was a little bewildered by affection at first, but eventually became a sucker for a comfortable lap to nap on.

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As far as I can tell, this cat is useless. I’ve seen him stalk a few things, but the only thing I’ve ever seen evidence of him catching is carbs. He loves carbs. This is because most of what he eats is nshima, which is carbs personified. He hangs out at meals and meows after food, and, when he is persistent enough, he gets tossed a lump of nshima with maybe a kapenta or two in it. He scarfs it down.

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Munono, scarfing down the rest of my breakfast cereal.

Because of the cat I have to keep any baked goods high up and inaccessible. To date, he has successfully hunted down a loaf of banana bread and several cookies. I’ve smartened up over time, reducing his kill count.

The cutest thing about Munono is probably the way he sleeps. His tail seems to have a mind of its own, so if he wants to sleep undisturbed by his own tail whacking him in the face, he’s got to pin it down. On top of that, to make sure he has an adequate sleeping environment, he puts his widdle paw over his widdle eyes on his widdle face and curls up tight and is all set to nap until I cruelly have to stand up and get on with my day. I always feel bad about it. I know, I am the worst.

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D’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Goats

Reading this week:

  • Zambezi Valley Insurgency by J.R.T. Wood (would not recommend for casual reading; pretty dry accounting of operations from the Rhodesian perspective and clearly on the side of the Rhodesians, with no discussion of strategy for either side)
  • Bush War Rhodesia by Peter Baxter (still written from the Rhodesian perspective, but focuses on strategic goals and covers the entire war)
  • The Drowned World by JG Ballard

I have a love-hate relationship with goats. There are a ton of goats in my village. They’re a pretty popular animal in Zambia. They’re easier to manage and easier to feed than cows, and they require less land. They’re smaller than cows, which is an advantage when you slaughter them. There’s no refrigeration in the village, so if you’re gonna slaughter an animal you have to eat it or sell it all in one go. It’s usually on menus in the fancier places as “Imbushi,” which is the Bemba word for goat. The “love” part of this relationship is because those buggers are so darn cute when they’re babies. They’re small! They got little knobby knees and high-pitched voices! They run around but stick close to their moms! Look at this picture of me hugging a little baby goat! It’s the greatest! The “hate” part though? They can be such little shits. Here’s some goats hanging out near my insaka. Cute right? Look at those little guys, perched on the wall! And then they get up and kick over the bricks and cause all sorts of damage and then poop right in the middle. Stupid goats. The soundscape of the village is dominated by goats. I wake up most morning to the sounds of goats bleating. There was one goat for a while that would frequent my yard, sneezing heavily while also trying to call some willing female to mate with. I think Barry White would have worked better. When you first start living around goats, it is hard to distinguish the sound of children screaming and goats screaming. They’re very similar, though with experience you can tell them apart. It is handy to forget that, however, when the neighbor kids are crying and you can pretend it is just goats. In the dry season, the goats just wander around freely. They eat whatever they can find, which is fine. In the rainy season though, people start growing maize and the goats get tied up. The baby goats, however, get to wander around. Usually they stay with their parents. Sometimes, those little assholes break my fence and eat my velvet bean: The worst part? There is no gate on that fence! They could have just walked around to the open door and eaten my velvet bean without knocking down my fence. But nope, little shits gotta create more work while destroying my velvet bean. I got friends who are good with goats. Someday I will learn their ways. I just want to be friends with the baby goats, but they’re all scared of me. Probably because I chase them from my garden and then up the hill to teach them a lesson, but still. It’s been on my to-do list to get some goats and milk them and make goat cheese both because I love goat cheese, and also because I want people to get more protein in their diet so they aren’t all so short so they build houses to such a height where I don’t hit my head on my doorframe every other day walking out of my house. It’s the little things that keep you going.

As a slight update from when I originally wrote this post, I seem to have gained the advantage in the war with the goats. Since the goats had it out for my velvet bean I had to take a more active role in preventing them. The solution was to chase these suckers down. Turns out it is hard to chase goats down because they are more maneuverable through low dense brush than I am, but the trick is to enlist some children. As I was chasing a goat around the village, the kids would get in on the action and help me chase it down. The children are shorter than I am, and are therefore more maneuverable in the low brush, but also strength in numbers lets us corner the goat into an ambush. After we corner it we tie it up and admonish whoever owns it to keep it tied up from now on. The goats hate being tied up. When they are first tied up they yell and try to get out. Then they get distracted by some grass and start eating. They’re terrified of me now though for chasing them down. The only bad part about this whole experience is the first time I chased down a goat with the kids, the kids asked for money. I threw some kwatcha their way in appreciation, but this created a bit of a monster; the kids would ask for kwatcha anytime they chased down a goat. This built a lot of enthusiasm for keeping goats away from my garden, but I was worried the kids were letting the goats go or something. At any rates the goats seem to be tied up more consistently these days and hopefully my velvet bean makes it all the way to harvest. At least I know the stuff makes good goat fodder.

Dogs

Reading this week:

  • A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
  • Lost Horizon by James Hilton
  • King Leopold’s Ghost by Adam Hochschild

A lot of Peace Corps Volunteers get pets. There are advantages to pets. Cats catch mice for you. Dogs can be nice to have around. I like dogs a lot more than children, for example. Dogs have several advantages over children:

  • Dogs don’t ask me for stuff over and over again.
  • Dogs don’t play the game “let’s see what we can do to piss off Pat.”
  • When I tell the dogs they gotta get out of my yard, they leave.

That being said, I had not planned to get any pets. Pets are work. You gotta feed them and get them shots and find someone to feed them when you’re away. That being said, I more or less have two dogs:

The one on the left is Muka. Muka is my host family’s dog, but he was originally the previous volunteer’s dog. He is a good dog and is pretty well known in the surrounding villages, having been on many adventures with the previous volunteer.

Muka attended about half the meeting and then, sensing it was useless, left.

He’s got his quirks. His worst habit is that every once in a while he’ll spot a girl with a load on her head and suddenly growl and bark at her. I don’t know why he has a thing against women carrying things on their heads, but maybe he is just overzealous about gender equality. He likes to pretend he isn’t falling asleep. He’ll come in, sit by me, and then do head bobs and touch n’ goes instead of just laying down to sleep. He is a big fan of mud. Here is his, moments before sharing his mud enthusiasm by covering me in mud:

He was also, until recently, afraid to hang out inside my hut. When there was food on the line, he would forget this taboo and hang out under my armpit until he could lick the bowl, but otherwise he was afraid. When a rainstorm hit a week or two ago I lured him inside with a dog treat and closed the door. I didn’t want him to be wet and cold. He stood around nervously, until I scratched him behind the ears enough until he fell asleep. That changed something I guess and now the mutt rolls in like he owns the place. At night he departs to do whatever he does at night, but he’s scratching at my door at 0500 asking to be let in. So what do I do, since I am so kind and generous? I built the dude a dog bed. I went into town, bought foam and chitenge, and slaved over a needle for hours sewing him what I am willing to say with some seriousness is probably the most comfortable dog bed in all of Mbala District. Does he use it?

Nope.

No.

Not a chance. But you know who is all about the dog bed life?

Lala. Lala, being a refined lady, didn’t think twice and flopped right down on that thing the second she saw it. Lala is short for Katungalala. Only I call her Lala. She is this guy Abraham’s dog. “Katungalala” apparently means “diseased,” which is not a nice thing to call a dog. It is important to note that ZamDogs aren’t like American dogs. The dogs here aren’t companions, they’re security systems and garbage disposals. The upswing of that is if you show a dog some affection and don’t kick it, she’ll follow you around everywhere and then eventually spend her days snoring behind you and getting underfoot when you’re trying to sweep. Lala is also Muka’s girlfriend. Muka’s not a great boyfriend. He sleeps around and gets jealous, growling at Lala to get away when he thinks there is a treat on the line. But now I more or less have two dogs. They try to earn their keep every once in a while. When I run out to chase off goats or kids, they come out and help. Do they proactively chase away goats from my garden so the goats don’t eat all my velvet bean? No. But they’re cute. And so now, despite never actually getting a dog, I buy treats by the kilo and spend money on flea collars and flea powder and dog multivitamins because that is a thing. I fret over Muka’s botflies (dude, first off, when I squeeze the larva out, Muka eats them, and second, he’s got botflies on his balls, in case you think your day is bad, but he won’t let me tweezer those suckers out, not that I blame him) and have to try to make amends when he growls at people who don’t deserve it (one time he chased off a whole crowd at the nearby football field, then came trotting back to my porch wagging his tail happy as can be), and put up with these guys getting underfoot at every possible moment. But they are also the best adventure buddies there are and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Zambian News Redux

Reading this week:

  • The Marsh Arabs by Wilfred Thesiger
  • Once There Was a War by John Steinbeck

So I know I like just did a Zambian News post, and was going to try to hold off on doing another one, but then out of nowhere this fantastic headline appeared:

ARE WE WITNESSING THE DEATH OF JOURNALISM IN ZAMBIA?

How can you say that?! If anything, Zambia has the best journalism on the planet! Where else, tell me, do you get hard-hitting, in-depth, grade A reporting like “Most Zambian Men Have Low Sperm Count?!” What other news organizations cover the important witch-doctor-and-magic-charm beat, with important stories such as “Tenant Sues Landlord for Calling him a Wizard” (I feel like in America if someone called you a wizard it wouldn’t be a defamation case), or “Sacrifice Your Boyfriend or Son and You Will Be Rich, Witch Tells Slayqueen” (other items required for the ritual: 30 hard boiled eggs, $100, a syringe filled with blood from his left testicle, two black feathers, and urine mixed with salt), or “52 year old Zambian Woman Sleeps With Her Son Every Wednesday To Sustain His Wealth” (Quote from the article: “Yvonne, a native of Ndola confessed to ZambiaWatchDog that she is the main pillar of her son’s success by offering her nakedness to him once a week as instructed by the witch doctor he got his riches from. ‘We have sex every Wednesday and we do it at my house where the charm was buried.’ According to Yvonne, ‘the price is that, once I stop sleeping with him, all our hard earned wealth will vanish in thin air and my son will die a very painful death.'” My only question is why Wednesday in particular?)?!

Zambian news has invaluable life advice! How about the article “How to Get Your Man to Marry You Without Being Pushy or Looking Desperate – For Women?” In case you missed the article (which, if you couldn’t tell, is written by a guy who blames women in casual relationships for playing “heart games”) the author gives four-part advice:

  1. Date someone with a vision
  2. Look like a wife (this references a bible quote)
  3. Meet each other’s family
  4. If you are selling a cow, stop giving free milk to customers who only need milk

Where else are you gonna get such hard-hitting advice outside sleazy Tumblr blogs?!

I mean, to be fair, a lot of Zambian news could happen anywhere. The Man hospitalized after waiting for a no-show facebook girlfriend for ten days at Airport could have been from anywhere. Unless you clicked through, how could you tell “Garden Sewer Ponds Crocs Posing Danger to Life” isn’t Florida (most concerning part of this article is the guy who notes “My friends and I spend most of our time at the sewer ponds, especially during weekends”)? Just try to name a dude in the world that doesn’t sympathize with the defendant in Bring Back My Pants [Underwear] and Show Them to the Court, Husband Tells Wife? Underwear is important!

With that being said, I guess, I can’t imagine this narrative arc happening a whole lot of other places:

And in the final category, not only does Zambian news have magic, politics, and life advice, there is also a large amount of good ole’ fashioned sex (er, s*x):

  • Kitwe S*x Workers Disappoints Government (this is actually a story about a government program to empower sex workers in Kitwe by helping them start businesses selling beans or kapenta or other activities and the women aren’t participating because they make more money more quickly by being sex workers, but the headline makes it seem like a comment on the quality of the sex workers)
  • Kim Jong-Un Gives A Last Warning To The African Youths (you wouldn’t think this is a story about sex, but the story has the line “I [Kim Jong-Un] have the ability to hit you from inside my bedroom, do not let me use force to tell you to stop.”)
  • Man Cheats of Wife with USA Tourist, He Leaves Too Much Evidence on His Phone (From the article: “Apparently they only had oral and an@l s*x. But Elena wants him back and proposed that he brings his wife along! She also promised him some s*x from the front.”)

So to Mr. Man Proclaiming The Death of Journalism in Zambia, I say: that shows you!

Building a Chicken Coop

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Susan and I.

For these past two weeks I have been building a chicken coop. It all started when a chicken decided she lived in my house. One night she walked in like she owned the place and took residence in my chicken. I didn’t mind that until the next morning, when I discovered a bunch of chicken poop in my kitchen. This was clearly unacceptable, so something had to be done. First, I named her Susan, and second, I decided to build a chicken coop.

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Susan, sneaking into the house.

Most of the time when I build things with sticks they wind up kinda low-quality, but given the importance of this project to Susan I decided to make it as high-caliber as I could. The first step was heading off into the forest and gathering supplies, ie, a whole bunch of sticks. This inevitably involves chopping down trees, which I feel terrible about, and to assuage my guilt I donated $50 to Trees for the Future (I’m trying to plant trees myself, but so far with my pollipot tree nursery I am 1/25 in getting the things to sprout).

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After I had the necessary sticks, I cleared out a little spot next to my house (had to move some of the sunflowers to do it) and planted the first four poles in the ground. I decided to make the coop 1m x 1.5m, which should be sufficient room for up to 10 chickens, but I’m thinking I’ll get like four. Borrowing some techniques from pond staking, I used my line level to make sure that the floor was nice and level for the chickens.

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The basic design of the coop is pretty simple. I just imagined it being a night shelter, so the major piece of “furniture” in the thing is a perch for them to sleep on. That is the pole going across the middle there. One of the most time-consuming portions of the work was stripping the bark off of all the sticks. Parasites and other bugs that bother the chickens can hide in the bark of the wood (along with making it more prone to attack by termites), so it is necessary to strip it all off. That takes time, however. As a side note, I am still sorta consistently amazed that you can get wood from a tree. Like, who’da thunk?

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The whole process took me about two weeks off and on, with pretty much daily trips into the forest to gather more sticks (whenever I am gathering sticks for these projects, I always find myself briefly worrying if using dissimilar woods is going to cause corrosion problems down the line). Susan would come by and inspect the work as it was going along. The chickens also really like it when I move dirt around, because it digs up bugs for them to eat.

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Once I had the frame of the chicken coop in place, I covered it with a tarp. The tarp was a relatively cheap and available building material, as opposed to getting bamboo from the next village over or finding enough sticks to block the wind and rain. In most of the projects I do using free village-appropriate materials is a priority so they can be used as an example to the farmers I work with. In this project, however, my neighbors already have chicken coops of their own made out of a variety of materials, so they don’t need me to show them how it is done. They use a wide variety of materials, and I’ve seen designs use bamboo, sticks, and grass, and I’ve even seen a few that construct a small brick coop on top of a wooden platform.

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After nailing the tarp onto the frame, I covered the tarp with grass. The grass serves mostly to protect the tarp from the sun, and also to make the thing blend into the surroundings a bit more and appeal to my own aesthetic sense. I wish I had been able to cover up the blue tarp a bit better but that would have required more sticks and engineering I was unwilling to implement. The floor of the chicken coop is wire mesh that I had originally intended to use on a rabbit hutch that I’ve never gotten around to building. At the tops of the sides there are also mesh windows. The mesh on the floor is intended to make cleaning the coop easy, and also make it easy to collect chicken manure for use in the ponds or my gardens. The windows at the top, along with the floor, are there to provide adequate ventilation. The door is also mesh, and hangs down from the frame in the front. Once I get chickens, I’ll keep them cooped up at night, and let them roam free during the day. I’ll be providing supplemental feed and making sure they have a consistent source of water. Hopefully if they lay eggs fairly consistently I will have a regular supply of eggs to use in meals and baking.

So that’s my chicken coop. It was a fun project to build and now I guess I’m obligated to get chickens. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Pics of the SS Good News

Just wanted to post some sweet photos of the SS Good News recently posted on the Mbala / Abercorn Facebook Page!

“This photo was taken by the Federal Information Dept in the late 1950s early 60s.” Link
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“The Good News in drydock with the Morning Star moored offshore. This appears to be on the east coast of Kumbula Island just opposite was is now the port of Mpulungu.” Link
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“Here is the Good News being examined after being shelled by the German naval forces in 1914. While the earlier smaller missionary vessel the Morning Star was refloated by the African Lakes Company, the Good News was abandoned.” Link

Previous posts about the SS Good News:

Mpulungu

Building the SS Good News

Building the SS Good News, Part 2

I Found the SS Good News!